We are creatures of communication. The progress of technology has only made it easier to talk to your friends and- if you have to- family. So why is that text you sent two hours ago getting ignored? You just wanted to say hey or good morning to the guy in your life, but he hasn’t seemed to notice it. Sometimes it’s not you, it’s him. However, sometimes it really is you. Luckily, you can fix that!
Reason #1 Why is he not texting me back?: He Is Seeing Other People
Have you had “the talk” yet? You know, the one where you ask “So… What are we?” It depends on how nailed down you want this new relationship to be. Some couples can be extremely committed to each other without having mentioned that talk, while others remain content to dance around the subject. And sometimes, men just want to have their freedom. Their freedom from you. They need their time and space to do what they want- with who they want. So yes, to be brutally honest, maybe he’s hanging out with another girl or doing his own thing and that is the reason he ignored your text. But I am here as your friend and dating coach. And you can move past this little bump in the road. What you should do is take time for yourself. Why is he the only one who gets all the fun? Talk to other guys, pamper yourself, catch up with some friends. Do not let this hinder your own personal growth. If it bothers you that he may be looking at other fish in the pond, it’s better to leave him to it if your relationship is still fresh. You will only look clingy and controlling if you try to ask him about his dating life if you’ve only been on one or two dates.
Reason #2 Why is he not texting me back?: He Lost Interest
We are proud to be unique individuals. We each have our own distinct personalities, backgrounds, and cultures. But sometimes that concoction isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay! It’s not as if we like everyone, either, right? The second reason that your guy isn’t texting you back is that he decided he wasn’t into you anymore. Perhaps he didn’t find a connection or feel any chemistry with you. Maybe he didn’t appreciate your obsession with 80s movies and grilled cheese. He could have decided that he didn’t want to deal with dating a vegan. Whatever the reason may be, it doesn’t really matter. You can’t force relationships and connections. You have to let them flow. I’ve seen many relationships as a dating coach. The best ones are ones without pressure. They are just two people content with helping each other grow and move through life. So if he lost interest, don’t stress. You should not harass him about it. Leave him to it. If he hasn’t texted you back a week after the first date, he’s gone. If anything, be glad that he knows what he wants. It’s unfortunate that he couldn’t be straight with you, but hey. That’s life.
Reason #3 Why is he not texting me back?: He Is Playing Video Games
I have many friends who are passionate about gaming. They will sit at their consoles or computers for hours. During that time, nothing else exists. Family demands, outside noises, phone notifications. If you get ignored for a full day, there’s a chance he has gotten sucked into virtual reality. Don’t blow his phone up demanding where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s with. It’s just going to aggravate him, not inspire him to reply. You must be understanding of each other. You can’t just have a running conversation with each other that never ends. That’s a fairytale. For other tips to deal with or relate to gamer guys, hit up your friendly neighborhood dating coach. I’ll be happy to help you out!
Reason #4 Why is he not texting me back?: He Is Studying
Imagine this, you met in the psychology section at Barnes & Noble. You were sitting on the floor reading and he accidentally tripped over your foot. You bonded over the love of books. You like reading psych books in your free time, but it’s his actual major. After exchanging phone numbers, and having a couple cute texts back and forth, he’s suddenly ghost. What happened? Well, it could be that he’s cramming his face off for a test. Maybe he has a lot of notes to go through, and can’t deal with any distractions. He could’ve gotten into the studying mindset before he thought about letting you know he would be busy. This happens a lot in our generation. We still have many friends who are in college, or are working at continuing their degrees. It’s just part of being a millennial! If you want cute ideas for perking up a burnt-out grad school student, don’t hesitate to ask your dating coach. Two is better than one, right?
Reason #5 Why is he not texting me back?: You Are Being Too Pushy
Being a dating coach is amazing, but this is something I see very often with my clients. At the end of the day, someone’s gotta come right out and say it. You are being too pushy. This isn’t exactly a bad thing! It just means you are passionate about what you like. But this can be a major turn-off for guys. Don’t double text them at the beginning, without waiting for their response. Just go with the flow. Relax. Don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, be patient. Once he sees you being less pushy, he’ll relax more. Remember, relationships without pressure are some of the best kind. Don’t change yourself for a guy, by any means. But at the same time, show him various sides of you slowly. Don’t throw everything at him all at once. Leave some mystery!
The most important thing to know and remember, is not to wait by the phone. If he isn’t texting you back, it’s his loss. No matter what’s going on in his life, don’t let it ruin your day. Keep a positive attitude. If you feel like you don’t have the patience to wait for him to respond after a few days, then move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And don’t forget, your dating coach is always around to give you extra tips and advice!