There is a myriad of snappy nicknames people are attaching to various moments in a relationship, good or bad. Cuffing, ghosting, and cushioning are just a few. Now there’s a new trend that has just gotten its own name: stashing. It’s a very familiar concept, similar to cushioning but worse. Normally, stashing occurs pretty late into the relationship. It’s when you’ve got stars in your eyes for the perfect woman. She’s everything to you. You love sending and receiving those good morning texts and meeting up for lunch during the week. Romantic dinners and meetings with friends are always fun. But wait… Circle back to those meetings with friends. Are they her friends or your friends?

When you know that she’s stashing you for later

Sometimes it can be pretty difficult to tell whether you’re being stashed. The biggest red flag is that she doesn’t post you on her social media at all. Not even on her stories. This could just be due to the fact that she doesn’t like broadcasting every moment of her life on her pages. But this could also be that she is keeping you a secret. So have you met her friends? Have you met her family? Have you ever met any of her coworkers? Do a quick checklist through your head of the people in her life you have actually met. If the list is suspiciously free of checks, then your woman may be stashing you.  If this is the case, tell her  “we should hang out with your friends this weekend” and see what she says.

Why people are prone to stashing

There are many reasons why men and women end up stashing. They may have a fear of commitment. They might feel like the relationship is moving too fast for them. Maybe they would prefer having an open or polygamous relationship but are unsure how to bring it up with their partner, or maybe they feel a relationship will hinder their goals or career. Whatever the case may be, it’s still a selfish act in which to engage. If you think that the woman you’re seeing may be stashing you, address the issue. And if you are actively stashing women, think about why you might be doing this. Communication has never been more important. Talk to your partner and be open with them. And if you think that your relationship isn’t what you wanted, then consider stepping back from it.

If you need to talk to someone about how to navigate these issues, I’m right here. As your dedicated wingwoman, I am ready to assist the tricky situations you may come across in your dating life.