Paying for the Girl

The man paying for dinner? It’s archaic. It’s sexist. It’s disrespectful! There are many negative adjectives surrounding the question of whom should pay for the first date (or two, or three…). What’s a guy to do? It’s difficult to decide whether you should just let the girl pay for the whole thing or split it. Perhaps you could sneak your card over to the waiter once your date checks her phone and be done with it…

Make a Good First Impression

First dates are all about first impressions. You’ll be able to tell whether you have real chemistry. This is your chance to see how she digs your great sense of humor and your awesome charisma. If you haven’t already figured out what sort of girl your date is, now is your chance. Will she be the kind to demurely accept your offer to pay the bill? Will she argue with you about feminism? Is she going to remind you that it’s 2017 (because you had no idea)? The most important thing to remember is that you avoid sounding condescending when you offer to pay the bill. It’s not like you think she can’t, it’s just that you want to do something nice for her. And what’s the harm in that?

It’s Just a Check…

There will be women who completely refuse to let you pay for them. They stand strong in their opinion that your chivalrous offer is outdated and gender equality means that the bill ought to be split, if anything. In this instance, it’s crucial that you let it slide. Just this once. Perhaps you’ll be able to bring her ‘round and show her that you really aren’t trying to stifle her privileges by paying for dinner and drinks. If she has her way with things, show your generosity some other way. Buy her dessert somewhere. Take her out for another date, and insist you pay this time. Generally, it’s a good idea to pay for the first three dates (if you’re able). If your date wants to contribute and have a turn paying after the initial three dates, let her go at it.

She’ll Have Her Chance

It’s true, nowadays unmarried women are finally closing the income gap and can earn as much money as single men. That means that if a guy offers to pay at the first date, it would have been no different if the woman had offered. It may have been different if the woman had a significantly lower salary than the man. But that normally is not the case. However, once again, first dates are all about first impressions. As old as the notion may be, many women still gladly accept the man paying on the first date. They even see it as a good sign. Some women feel friend-zoned if allowed to pay for their portion of the meal. If the first dinner goes well, your date must rest assured that there will be plenty of opportunities ahead for her to successfully pull out her wallet. In the meantime, assure her that dinner is on you and that you view it as a small gift and not an obligation.

Perhaps it will be an age-old question: Should men be paying for dinner on the first date? It’s something only you and your date can answer because it’s different for everyone. Each person has their preferences. If you’re really unsure about how to handle it, discuss it before meeting up. See what your date thinks about the situation. You could even talk about it before or during dinner in a light manner. It’s not that big of a deal, but it is something that could potentially flesh out how the rest of your relationship could go.