How to Kiss a Woman Without Being Rejected

Movies have scenes that stress the importance of “the right moment” when it comes to the first kiss. Characters deflating because they missed it, and the best friends shaking their head in a “I can’t believe you didn’t know it was the right moment” sort of way. Honestly, it can be rather difficult to tell when the right moment is. It’s even harder to tell if you don’t know the person that well. It’s always best to be well-prepared for your first date. It will boost your confidence and increase your chances of ending the night without being rejected. Imagine if you’re on a date with an amazing woman with whom you’ve only had a few conversations. How will you know when “the right moment” arrives?


Keep eye contact

During conversation with your date, make sure you retain eye contact. Smile while you talk. Don’t stare her down or anything. Just look into her eyes. She should do the same for you if she’s interested. Some people have difficulty maintaining eye contact even though they are intrigued by what you have to say. If she is one of those sorts of people, don’t hold it against her. While speaking to you, she may look beside you, past you, or downwards. Don’t force her to look at you by following her gaze in an obvious manner. Just look at her eyes. Work at making her comfortable in your presence. The main thing is that she is looking at (or near) you. As long as she doesn’t keep glancing at her phone, nonchalantly texting, or eyeing the nearest exit, you’re in the clear. She is making an effort to get to know you and be at ease with you. Make sure you have some idea of topics she would be interested in talking about.


Make conversation

Women are not as complicated as some may be inclined to think. Especially when you see us in person, you can usually tell if we are interested or not. Generally, if you find yourself doing all the talking and your date making minimal effort to respond, it’s not a good sign. However, if she interrupts you before you even finish a thought because she’s excited about elaborating on your point, that’s a good sign. She likes where you’re going and wants to go there as well. Make sure you’re speaking up and not mumbling. That way, you won’t have to repeat yourself. Be confident. This is your first date, which carries a lot of weight. All of this will lead into the first kiss if you play your cards right.


Offer a friendly touch

One way to gauge her affection is to gently touch her arm or hand. Before you take that step, it’s important to get her consent. You risk putting her in a very uncomfortable position if you try to put your hand on her arm and she balks. Even if she has no qualms with people touching her, she can appreciate your consideration for her benefit. After getting her consent, you may proceed with light, friendly touches on her arm. You want to be able to lightly touch her without being rejected. Be involved with the current conversation with her, and lightly stroke her arm. Does she seem interested? Or is she nervously glancing at her arm? Pay very close attention the her facial expressions and  body language as you don’t want to do anything that would put your date in an awkward position. Lastly, communicate with her. If it’s difficult to read her, ask her something like: “Sorry, is this bothering you? I can stop,” and give her the freedom to confirm or deny your advances.


Lean in

It’s important to remember not to crowd your date. She may have issues with personal space. She may be still getting used to your company. So ease into it. Start by just leaning forward slightly during a particularly interesting anecdote she might offer. Gradually (not creepily) decrease the distance between you. If she begins to sit further back in her chair, make a slow retreat. This can be a little tricky to read if you don’t know your date that well. Maybe she doesn’t like you, and doesn’t like you getting nearer. On the other hand, perhaps she is into you, but not into the fact that you’re beginning to sit closer to her. Some women genuinely do have personal space preferences. Try to find out what her inclinations are. Hopefully you can get close to her without being rejected. If she calls you out on leaning in closer to her, don’t panic. Let her know that it was not your intention to invade her personal bubble.


Go in

Again, the movies make first kisses an elaborate memory. The thing is, first kisses can be awkward and unplanned and clumsy. It doesn’t matter what age we are. You could be 35 and still get nervous and panic when you go in for the kiss. It can be a daunting thought to imagine the chances you have at getting a kiss without being rejected. Don’t listen to those thoughts. Keep moving forward. If your date has been interested in your conversation, not looked at her phone continuously, not minded you touching her arm, and been smiling in return, then you should go in. The thing is, you shouldn’t second guess yourself or think too hard about the “perfect moment”. If this goes well, you will have plenty of beautiful moments together in the future. The longer you wait, the more reasons she will create in her mind about why you aren’t making a move. Go with your gut, and go in for the kiss. If you’ve been able to read her well and allowed her to have a good time with you, then you could garner a kiss without being rejected.


The most important thing to remember is to be yourself. You can dress well, have good hygiene, and smile at every available interval, but it doesn’t mean anything if you aren’t being genuine. You don’t want to start off a relationship by being false with someone. Make her feel comfortable, but don’t force it. Smile while you talk, but be relaxed. Share about yourself, but don’t tell her your life story on the first date. Before you know it, you could easily have a first kiss without being rejected. If you need more tips on first date etiquette, contact your dating coach. The last thing you want to be is unprepared!

without being rejected