Avoid Being Ghosted by Him
Girl, we all know it’s the worst when you shoot your guy a text and ask him what he’s up to later only to be met with silence for the rest of the day. That’s when you start wondering if he is— or ever was— your guy in the first place. If the lack of communication continues, there’s a high chance that you’ve been ghosted (although there is a chance that he is just genuinely busy). It was his loss. But how do you avoid being ghosted in the future? There are a few ways you can try to prevent it.
Don’t Give “Too Much Too Soon”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of hitting him up every chance you get. He’s all you think about, he’s the only person you talk about, he’s who you want to hang out with every moment you can spare. But you’ve gotta give the man some space. You can’t crowd him so soon. He could spook. Some guys dig all the attention a girl wants to give him. Other men feel stifled and suffocated by it. The problem is that it is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between the two. It’s an awful stereotype, but men really are poor communicators. Especially at the beginning of a relationship. So don’t overload his phone with texts every hour if he hasn’t even responded to the “good morning” one you sent seven hours ago. Let him come to you. If he enjoys talking to you, he will make time to respond to you whenever he can.
Save Your Stories
Similar to the previous point, you don’t want to do any information overload too early. Save your childhood road trip stories for the third date. If you’re mostly just communicating via social media or texting, even more reason to wait it out. There’s enough of a story about you online if he’s interested. He could pore over your Instagram posts for hours if he wanted to. Slowly ease into giving him more and more information about you… But over time! Don’t rush it. If you are constantly telling him about your goals, passions, dreams, and vacations, he might feel like you’re only interested in talking about yourself. So ease up on the breaks. Make sure that you are both sharing about each other equally. To avoid being ghosted, put stress on finding out more of his background, his interests, and his favorite places to go to. He will appreciate this sort of attention.
Prove That You Have a Life
This one may sound a bit desperate, but it’s just straight to the point. You should always be yourself when you first begin speaking to a guy. But to avoid being ghosted, you have to let him know that he isn’t the only good thing going for ya. Send him a text to let him know you won’t be near your phone for a while because you’ll be at the gym, out at brunch with your girls, or helping your brother with decorating his apartment. Don’t lie to him, but give him friendly little reminders about your schedule to show that you have one. If a guy begins to have the impression that you don’t have anything else going on and that you want your sole focus to be on him, he could become pressured. And nobody likes that sort of stress at the beginning of a relationship. You can easily avoid being ghosted by dropping hints here and there about your social life or work schedule. Prevent him assuming that your life is now revolving around him (even if you are constantly peeking at his Facebook page).
Humans are not that complicated. We all enjoy different amounts of affection at different times. Old friends will greet each other with a long, drawn out hug. Family members who aren’t that close will give a half-hug if they must. And people who are in a new relationship will constantly be testing the waters to see if they want to go in. If the water suddenly becomes much too hot or far too cold, they won’t want to risk it. They’ll meander off in search of water that will better suit their preferences. In the dating world, ghosting is a big deal. But to avoid being ghosted, the biggest thing you could do is not to overload the communication line. And if you really are worried about being ghosted, stop texting him for a day or two. See if he responds. If he notices your absence, then maybe he does deserve a chance. But if he doesn’t check in to see if you’re okay, then you have the green light to go ahead and ghost him. Mad or naw?