Not every woman is going to be warm and welcoming when you try to start a conversation with them. There are many reasons for this. One is that she is introverted and doesn’t feel comfortable with a stranger randomly speaking to her. But there are some ways that you could invite an introverted girl into a conversation without spooking her. The following suggestions may not accurately apply to every introvert as there is a broad range of their preferences.


Don’t Talk at Them

This is a no-brainer for most people. For introverts, this rings true even more. Introverts are observers and spend a lot of time within their own minds as their form opinions and ideas based on how they view the world around them. They don’t often find it necessary or reasonable to share or voice these ideas and remain comfortable sitting on them and adding to them. When approaching an introverted woman, you want to be calm and respectful. Don’t overly bombard her with big grins and excited behavior. Don’t talk louder than is necessary. For instance, if you are at someone’s party or get together, you mustn’t speak at a high volume if there is low or minimal background noise. Some people naturally have a more boisterous speaking voice, so try to be attentive that your level isn’t drastically higher than hers. Introverts don’t always speak very loudly. Don’t be afraid to ask her to repeat something if you missed what she said.

Skip the Small Talk

The most comfortable thing to begin talking about with a stranger is small talk. The weather, the room, their location. This is a trap with introverts. You may be just trying to break the ice with them but to an introvert you could easily be creating far more ice. Introverts operate at a very different frequency than extroverts in many ways. The main way is how they approach and receive conversation. Perhaps with someone more extroverted, they would be happy and excited to discuss anything from the cool t-shirt the party host is wearing to the latest awkward Tweet the President sent out. But for introverts, they are interested in much more meaningful topics. This is not to say that they don’t have an opinion on fashion or politics. However, they would easily form a deeper connection with someone who puts forth an interesting and deep conversation topic. When you approach an introverted woman, gently engage her in conversation. Perhaps interest her in an unpopular opinion you have. Tell her why Game of Thrones is the best TV show. Explain to her why Deadpool is overrated. Catch her off guard by saying something out of the ordinary. Approaching an introverted woman is easy enough if you come armed with topics that can generate a conversation or even a light debate.

Don’t Expect Constant Responses

Introverts like their space. Literal and figuratively. To your four sentences, she may offer half of one (before you interrupt). Just like you shouldn’t invade her personal bubble, don’t force conversation out of her. She needs her verbal space. Share with her your opinions in a light and easy-going manner. Don’t be frantic, dramatic, or too goofy. Those traits can be endearing at the right moments, but take it easy at first. Approaching an introverted woman is like approaching any living person on the planet. Respect their opinion but don’t demand it if they don’t offer it. If the introverted girl seems disinterested in your topic choice, there could be a good chance that she is. Do your best to try reading her facial expressions. Does she look disgusted, anxious, bored? If she hasn’t talked in a few minutes, that could mean that you’re losing her. Pay attention to social cues when you’re approaching an introverted woman.


Don’t Chase Her

We’ve all seen that movie or heard the story about the exuberant man who was determined to win over the quiet girl. She was all he could think about and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. That is the wrong way to go about things. If she avoids your advances, doesn’t respond to your texts, and keeps looking towards the door or other people when you’re speaking to her, don’t pretend you don’t notice. Give the girl some space. You shouldn’t chase a girl when you’re approaching her. Introverted or not. Some girls like to be chased but many introverts really just want to be left alone. If she is making obvious signs that she is not interested in you, don’t add to her suffering just because you think you’re doing her a favor to keep talking to her. Introverts are not afraid to skip out on something they don’t like. Parties, friends, plans. They like what is safe and comfortable. If they don’t like your personality or the way you’re conversing with her, move on. Approaching an introverted woman should always come with a polite exit plan. Don’t make her feel bad for not being interested in you. You’ll find your person.


Appreciate the Way She Is

Although the idea of introverts is becoming more popularly romanticized, it hasn’t always been that way. Introverts are seen as quiet, mysterious, and alluring. More than that, introverts are people who are content running around inside their own mind without anyone bothering them. There can be extroverted introverts, asocial introverts, and introverts who are simply reserved in the way they think and act in comparison to others. If you catch feelings for an introverted woman— and she has feelings for you as well— then you should consider yourself lucky. Introverts are some of the most caring, thoughtful, inspired people in our existence. When they care about someone, it’s genuine and meaningful. They don’t waste energy lying and causing unreasonable arguments. Most of the time, they like being on their own (whether they’re in a relationship or not). This means that they won’t constantly be in your face or attached at the hip. You want to go out and have a boys’ night? No problem. She’ll be more than content enjoying a quiet house to herself. If an introvert hits it off with you, they will make compromises. Approaching an introverted woman can change your world. She’ll complement you physically and mentally and speak about things in a way you never thought about before.


Approaching an introverted woman is not a daunting task. It’s fairly simple if you know your boundaries. Don’t be afraid of sharing your weird thoughts or views about something. You’ll be opening the floor up for her to consider opening up to you and sharing some thoughts of her own. You won’t regret it. Be patient and be considerate. You don’t want to rush it with this one